The word is "submit."
I know, I know. This is a CRAZY word. But let me explain...
For me, "submit" means:
loving obedience by proper arrangement and deliberate decision.
Let's say that again. Submit means to lovingly obey, by a proper arrangement that you have with your hubby, and it takes a deliberate decision.
For me, I deliberately decide to lovingly obey HubbyHubby according to the proper arrangement that we have agreed upon.
Example: Big G (my 11-year-old daughter) wants to listen to music on an iPod with headphones. I don't think it's a good idea.
HubbyHubby and I discuss this for a few days. HubbyHubby says, "Just 10 songs, and after her chores and homework are done. Download some old rock. Include some Bob Marley, too." Huh? Okay. I lovingly obey. Big G is super-happy. Chores are done. She's ahead in her homework.
Because of that, I didn't drive HubbyHubby nuts by being adamant, obstinate and belligerent.
What did I do? I submitted to my Hubby. We did not do what the Joneses do. We did what we worked out according to our proper arrangement. And I made a deliberate decision to follow his lead.
"To submit is an experience beyond words. It's the greatest honor a wife will ever have, and only she can fulfill that responsibility with her husband. There is no substitute--only the wife can be submissive to her husband in this category of life and to this depth." -- Donna Martindale, 1994
"Submit" doesn't happen overnight. Sleep on it. Think about it. Comment on it. Ask questions about it.
I encourage you to choose one issue to consider submitting to your hubby about.
1. Walk away and count to 10.
2. Ask yourself, "Is this the hill I want to die on?" In other words, "Is this worth the fight?"
3. When you're calm, ask hubby a question (in a kind, sweet tone). Asking a question allows hubby to think and respond. When he gives you an answer, say, "Okay." If you need more information, ask him another question. Sometimes, my tone is so sweet, HubbyHubby will actually laugh.
Some issues don't get immediately resolved, and they'll need to be put off until the two of you can revisit it.
In the End:
In the end, hubby makes the final call, and you will be blessed because you let him be the captain of the ship.
Camping in the Rocky Mountain National Forest is fun. Sleeping in a tent in the middle of the woods is scary. There are all kinds of creepy noises and sounds at night.
Every time I heard a noise, I grabbed HubbyHubby's arm and squeezed tight. Sometimes I would ask, "What's that?" or "Did you hear that?"
A husband loves to feel that he is his wife's protector--brave and fearless. Think of the iconic story of a knight on a white horse, slaying the dragon, and rescuing the fair maiden. That's hot.
How can you recognize your hubby as your Knight in Shining Armor?
Here are some ideas:
1. Your hubby handles some intense financial situation and fills you in on the details. Thank him for saving you and taking on such a huge task.
2. You have a flat tire and hubby rescues you. Tell him he is your Knight in Shining Armor.
3. He puts in a long, hard day at work. When he comes home, thank him for working so hard for you and the family.
4. He jumps up in the middle of the night when the smoke detector batteries fail and the unit is giving a warning beep. When he get's back in bed, squeeze him tight and say, "You are my hero."
5. Hubby fixes something around the house or in the car. Wrap your arms around him, give him a kiss and say, "Baby, you're the best. Thank you for fixing the__________."
6. The dishwasher breaks and floods the kitchen floor. Your hubby is on the phone immediately to have the maintenance man come and fix it. Thank your hubby for handling the problem and saving the day.
When our kiddos were teeny-tiny, HubbyHubby used to drive a work van with ladders on the top. Around 5 p.m. or so, we could hear his truck making all kinds of noise as it got closer to home.
When we heard his truck, you would think an actual king was arriving. We would shout and cheer and get all excited. The girls and I would greet Daddy at the door with hugs and kisses and crazy happiness.
We treated him like he was a warrior returning home from battle.
Today, my girlies are 7, 9 and 11. When Daddy comes home, we still greet him with excitement.
How can you teach your children to cheer for Daddy?
Think of something your hubby does that the family can cheer about.
Maybe it's Mommy who comes home from work and Daddy is cooking dinner.
You could rave about the dinner that your hubby made.
Maybe Daddy works from home.
When Daddy comes out from his office, there could be hugs and kisses and squeezes.
Maybe your hubby takes the family out to dinner on Friday nights.
You could teach the kiddos to get excited and thank Daddy for the special treat.
HubbyHubby loves to see me wear jeans and a t-shirt.
This is my least favorite outfit in the world.
My old beat-up jeans are his favorite.
But here's how I make him happy.
During the day, I wear whatever I want (always put together, never sloppy).
At 4:00, before HubbyHubby comes home, I run upstairs and put on those old beat-up jeans and a white t-shirt.
I add lip gloss and perfume, and I pinch my cheeks to make them red.
Ask your hubby what he loves to see you in.
Cuddle up next to him with some clothing catalogues. Show him outfits and ask him to tell you which ones are his favorites.
Make a conscious effort to catch and keep his attention.
The Queen's Guide provides tips for women about: