A love affair with your husband…. Wait, I thought a love affair was a passionate, steamy, risky thing you do with another man while married to your husband. No, the passionate, steamy, risky things you should do are WITH your husband. A love affair with your husband takes deliberate thought, attention to detail, time and investment. This process does not take 24 hours a day, but it does require focused mindfulness to his needs and your marriage.
In this article, you’ll learn:
1. the definition of “love affair”
2. an example of my love affair
3. how to have a love affair with your husband
Definition of “love affair”. Meriam Websters Dictionary defines “love affair” as 1. a romantic attachment or episode between lovers. 2. a lively enthusiasm.
Is your marriage a love affair? Is it romantic? Is there an attachment? Is there lively enthusiasm? Or do you wake up, go through the motions of life and have a roommate that you call your spouse?
To try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery. (Meriam Websters Dictionary).
Stop here and think for a moment what romance means to you. What does romance mean to your husband? These may be two very different things. Consider talking to your husband about the romance in your marriage.
An example of romantic attachment in my marriage.
There are many things that I can do for my husband that are romantic.
Here’s one example. When he watches football I watch it with him and genuinely learn and engage in the game (the best I can). I cook (or buy) him his favorite food and make a big deal out of his passion for football. I try to influence his enjoyment for the game, I curry favor from him because I’m engaged in the game. I lavish him with personal attention as I pay attention to the game and him and talk with him about the game. My gift to him is my companionship with him and his favorite food that he enjoys. I flatter him by rooting for his team.
Write down one way you can be romantically attached to your husband.
Lively enthusiasm is a strong excitement of feeling (Meriam Websters Dictionary). This is a decision. Am I excited about football? No. I could care less. But do I decide to be excited about football? Hell yes. Why? Because my husband loves football and God says that wives are to adapt themselves to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-23 Amplified version) I’m not pretending, I’m genuinely excited to bless my husband in this way. If he loved race car driving, basketball, sky diving, ultrarunning, cooking, gardening…..I’d be excited about that. Lively enthusiasm is a decision.
An example of lively enthusiasm
I know that football is on Monday night, Thursday night and all day Sunday. I don’t plan anything during these days and times. I ask questions like “who’s playing?” “what times the game start?” “Who are we rooting for?”
“Is there something special you’d like to eat or snack on during the game?” I cheer when there’s a touchdown. I always comment on my favorite uniforms. Last year I learned about, recognized and talked about the quarterback. This year I’m learning about, watching and talking about the running back. Next year I’m going to figure out the wide receiver.
Do I watch every single game all the time? NO! I do watch the entirety of his favorite team and yell and scream when there’s a touchdown. I don’t watch football all day on Sunday. I would go crazy. But I do sit a watch a little here and there and I make sure there his favorite food is in the kitchen.
How to have a love affair (romantic attachment with lively enthusiasm) with your husband.
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